My Wonderland

Today I decided to reveal something to you...
something I once wrote down in great fear...
something I once wrote down with great passion and genuine liking for u...
something I tried pretty hard to conceal yet in vain...
some time I suppressed my desire to embrace u...
some time I restrained myself from thinking of u .....


And today I decided to reveal all to u ....my beloved Rui...

But please don't you ever feel impotent to the awkward lines I wrote down before...
what I want u to know is..
I really like you...and I do wanna move on together with u ....

If we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die..
Dreams and love see us through to forever..
as high as souls can fly...with clouds gone by, for you and I...





25th October 2007

對你  似乎有了那麼一點動心
                                                                               
但我知道這是不行的....
                                                                               
                                                                               
或許一切的陷阱總是如此這般的起始
                                                                               
                                                                               
我忘不了我曾受的傷
                                                                               
卻也無法阻止你的影像出現在我的腦海中
                                                                               
                                                                               
對你感到很對不起
                                                                               
想著能跟你一起坐著上課會有多麼美好
                                                                               
卻總是錯身


那次你邀請我到你家品嘗你的廚藝
                                                                               
抱著你的大玩偶  聽你滔滔不絕
                                                                               
心湖起了漣漪
                                                                               
你摸了摸我的額頭和手   說我體溫不高
                                                                               
但我當時確確實實的病了
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                
坐在你房間  聽你述說著你的旅程和一切
                                                                               
我很想心如止水    卻怎麼也無法克制


送我上地鐵時   你貼心的叮囑我
                                                                               
晚了  要坐在人多的地方  別挑人少的車廂
                                                                               
冷風颼颼的這天   我的心卻溫煦
                                                                               
你摸了摸我的背脊   要我回到宿舍告訴你
                                                                               
於是我上了地鐵歸去
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                
我受過很重的傷
                                                                               
這或許是你的真心
                                                                               
也或許會是你的技倆
                                                                               
而我只希望我的心能平靜無波...


因為
                                                                               
我已承受不起...那樣的傷....




30th October 2007

似乎就這麼走過了那段日子...
難道我是需要一個對的人領我走出那樣的框架...?
你和我是如此地相像
卻也令我如此畏懼.......。



5th November 2007

見面時   是那樣的令我安心而無所畏懼

在線上時   卻又是那樣的令我惶惑

摸不清你的思緒   
在付出與收手之間
來來回回    逡巡了幾百回
至今我依然毫無頭緒
究竟怎樣才是適當與正確。

而我總是害怕這樣的時刻
當我卸下所有理智與心防   昭揭我所有的脆弱
在感情以坦承之姿萌芽前
晨曦初綻時   你已離去
只徒然於我背後灑下一地    始終沒來得及言說的    驚惶與脆碎。