My Wonderland

 

感到很對不起你，因為許多事我不知為何記不起......很多是我們之間的甜蜜，你的貼心，但當時我在香港工作太忙，許多事，聽過、經歷過後，就像收到的名片，接過就忘，連存檔都來不及。

 

這實在不是一件好事......因為至少，我想記得，與你在一起的每一寸時光......。

 

有一天你問我，記不記得2012年的2月14日我們做了什麼。我怎麼想也回想不起，你只是 搖搖頭，嘆了口氣，卻還是微笑著對我說，也許有一天我會想起來的。

 

我想，就從每天寫日記開始吧。如果我能記下每天所做的事，那麼，至少，在記憶又離我而去時，我還能在日記裡尋找蛛絲馬跡，重建當時情景。那麼，我就不會忘了，我是多麼幸福的女人，能有你在身邊，被你天天寵著、疼愛著。

 

 

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Last week, Indraneel texted me, inviting us to the post- Rice Ceremony pub-do at King Edward VII in Stratford. I had been busy baking my gluten-free and sugar-free cheese cake and pizza all afternoon, and just got to Westfield to shop for a present for Eamonn when you got off work.

 

So I met with you at M&S at Westfield; as usual, you looked extremely tired after work. I always get a strong complexity of mixed sense of guilty, uselessness and sorrow every time I see you waking up early in the frosty morning to work your ass off, your unhappy face and exhaustion after you get off work. How I wish I could settle everything down soon so that I could share your burden. 

 

I browsed through M&S before you arrived yet didn't find anything I think would make a good present. Before long, you joined me for the shopping. We first went to Clinton's, found a classy little silver jewel box for the baby's first curl. Thought it might make a good present, but it was just way over-priced (£20). And I don't even think Eamonn has curly hair. Next to the silver box was a small soft toy ( either a dog or sheep...my memory really is unreliable..) for the baby to put on the finger and play with. It costs 4 quid but doesn't seem to be practical.

 

Then suddenly you came up with a brilliant idea of buying Lego. I've never once in my life played Lego and thought they are only meant for children over 3 years old. You said they have Legos for babies, the pieces are so much bigger that it would be practically impossible to swallow them.

 

So we went to the Lego shop at Westfield, and there they are - Lego for 1.5 years old! We found a box of great value (£9.99) with all the interesting parts and elements inside ( axe, pony, farmer, etc.). I was so happy that you came up with such a brilliant idea and that we've found a perfect gift!

 

We arrived at the pub around half past 7. Eamonn was all dressed up in a traditional Indian red clothes. He looked healthy - not chubby like most of the babies I saw on the street but not skinny either -, yet a little fuzzy, probably due to an exhausting day with his Rice Ceremony and all the people. I held him for a while but he somehow doesn't seem to like me much still. (sad)

 

Neel introduced us to his parents - this is the first time I met them.

 

We handed the Lego present to Neel and a pair of hand-crafted yellow-flower earrings to Debi, together with a short note I wrote for Eamonn on a Hello Kitty sticker. Debi was happy about the earrings and confirmed that is indeed Eamonn's first Lego set!

 

When Eamonn grows a bit older, I guess my honey would have something to brag about! =)

 

Neel and Debi ordered some canapé food and all the drinks are on them. You grabbed some parma ham, spring rolls, mini chicken pepper skewers and had your favourite drink - coke. LoL I wanted to keep that coke bottle, as that kind of size is not usually seen in the market, but you said it's probably of no practical use and threw it away eventually. 

 

After about an hour, we said goodbye to Debi, Neel and Eamonn. Eamonn just has some milk and seemed to be in high spirit then. He didn't seem to want us to go, and, awkwardly, a strange mixture of feelings floated through my heart, presumably resulted from the sense of me being needed, wanted and loved - some wonder that only babies/ children can do, like my little sister, yuchan.

 

We left the pub, held each other's hands tightly and walked towards the station. It got even more chilling after 9pm, I got your hood on your head, and took the DLR back to our warm, cosy home.