My Wonderland

There are some times, when explanations seem to be useless..
Fine! I surrender.
No more arguments, no more explanations.


I think I never realized how great the burden is on my back,
until you pointed out all those things which are always right in your mind.
Comparing to all those excellent students here, I dare not say that I work hard enough,
for no matter how much commitment you devote urself to make, it'll never be enough in LSE.


Yet still I feel quite unfair and uncomfortable, when you conveyed that my unqualification on the Russian course here has ruined the reputation of NCCU and of all Taiwan's students, and that I am the only and the very person who is responsible for it.

How can I ever be qualified when my classmates are all Russian-origins?
What I was accused is that my commitment to Russian is not high enough, thus I am unqualified here in LSE and I indirectly ruin the reputation of NCCU. You said that if a student has been working quite hard and making a rather high commitment to Russian language itself, the outcome would be totally different from what I achieved now.

Oh yea? How can you make such judgements when u've never been here and have no slightest idea of what it is like to study here and also their educational system? Have u ever tried to gain a general understanding and concept of what A Level and GCSE are?

Despite of all those, what I wanna defend for myself, is that I wasn't lowered down because of my unqualification in my Russian language skills, but rather the weakness in writing a Russian essay. Because the exams, which are gonna take place during Summer Term, are all about writing essays on the topics of religions and politics. I don't agree with your point of view because we were never trained to write a really formal Russian essay, to write or even discuss about anything which is relevant to the topics of religion and politics. If you think that other students who work hard would make a whole difference in the results and do better than I do, then try make him/her do a presentation about the religion and politics in Russian language with just an one-week-ago notice. Within a week, you have to do and fix up all the slides, write at least 3 Russian essays, and speak in Russian on the stage for 10 minutes without any notes allowed to be carried. Or try make them translate the Russian article when everyone is forced to do translation as soon as they get this article. The translation works can't be prepared, for all the handouts are released on the day of the class, and no one is supposed to do any preview; you have to react correctly and promptly once you get the handouts.


Every week we have to write at least 3 Russian essays on different topics, all of them are relevant to comparative politics and religions. This is the so-called "advanced level' here. If you think that other hard-working students in our department in NCCU could do better than I did, then give that a try!


Being too angry and frustrated by hearing all these harmful lines, I've already nothing to convey. Explanations seem to be useless and the whole situation turns out to be dreadful and lousy, I surrender. No more explanations, no more talk of anything; no more arguments, no more harmful threats.